Caught You Doing Something Good

One day I went to get Chloee from school. As soon as I walked in the door, I went over to her and asked her to put her jacket on. She flipped into a huge fit of rage, started screaming and then proceeded to kick me in the shins. I tried to calm her down but then she started throwing punches at me. I hauled her into the bathroom at the school and held her till she could calm down.

We have been having, let's call them "ISSUES" with Chloee lately. Lots of hitting, stealing, lying and screaming... not nice things, might I add. It has been interesting, to say the least.

After that, I talked to her teacher to ask if she is doing the same thing in school. She told me that if she had never seen that fit she threw, she never would have believed me that she acted like that because she NEVER does that at school. She told me that she is one of the best kids in the class.

After her teacher and I talked for a while and I broke down, Mrs. Vicki gave me some good ideas. She told me that when one of her sons was younger, all they did was clash with each other. We talked about the difference between positive and negative reinforcement and how negative gets them a quicker response and that I have to find the positive. That's when she told me something she did with her son.

She made a "Caught You Doing Something Good" chart. She said she really had to come up with something some days. She said, she'd tell herself that there just wasn't anything good about him (you know those days). It finally came down to giving a sticker for simply not slamming the door when he came home that day. She said it really makes you dig for the positive and reinforce it.

This is Chloee's door.

On it is her little chart. I don't tell her when I'm putting one on, she usually notices it sometime after and she'll come running to me, asking what it was for. What good thing had she done? It has changed everything around. I cannot believe how amazing this chart has worked. At first it was for things like not yelling that she hated me when she was in time out.

The stickers now are for things like doing the dishes, sharing with Halle, saying please and thank you. This chart has really helped to tone down all of the problems we have been having.

When the chart is all full, she gets a surprise. This time it was Tangled.

I am so grateful for fabulous people who have been in the trenches years ago and now share their wisdom with a mother of young children.