The Bubble Gum Dilemma

WOW! I have had this post in my drafts since MARCH. Yep, it has taken me this long to finally get this post written. Sad, but I do want to document it so here goes the highlights of the story considering that it happened 9 months ago.

I was at Macey's with the girls, buying some things for dinner. At the checkout, Chloee asked me if she could get some gum, this beautiful Bubble Tape gum. I said no. I hate gum, that doesn't even really begin to explain the pure hatred for it. I like to chew it but I hate if my kids have it and really at that point, she RARELY ever got any. I don't like worrying about it in hair, carpet, clothes, etc.

We got home and a few hours later, I caught her chewing gum. I asked her where she got it. She told me her friend, Taylor, left it at our house from the night before. I didn't think much of it til I talked to Taylor's mom and she said she never had any Bubble Tape. Oh, the plot just thickened. I approached her again and it was lie after lie after lie. Now I was really getting angry.

After a few hours of interrogation, she finally told me that she stole it from the store. When I told her no, she couldn't have any gum, she evidently just snuck it under her leg, chewed it on her way home and had been eating it all day. Oh, I was livid. That might not even explain it well enough.

LYING and STEALING? What? Where did my sweet 4 year old go?

When Josh got home, I took her back to Macey's. I explained to her that you can go to jail when you steal and that she was going to have to tell them what she did and that she would have to pay for it with her money. She wasn't even remorseful. What? Ok, I really need to drive this point home and set the precedence NOW at a young age, about stealing.

We went to the service desk and I asked for the manager. The stupid 18 year old kid working the desk told me that the manager was out on break but that he could help me. I should have known better. I told Chloee to tell him what she did at the store earlier. She was told him that she stole "this" as she put the bubble gum up on the counter. He said, "Oh that's okay!" Are you a moron? I told him that it wasn't okay and that he needed to tell her what happens when people steal. He looked at me like I was the meanest mom in the world.

After I had to explain and help this kid (can't he see that I'm trying to teach her a lesson?) she paid for the gum with her own money and then he gives it back to her. I said, "Oh no, you put that in the trash." He looked at me weird and said, "But she paid for it." Oh my gosh.... I know that but if she pays for it and gets to keep it, that teaches her that she can keep stealing, come back, pay for it and then keep it, what is to stop her? WOW! I could have beat this kid, he was making it really hard for me to teach her a vital lesson.

I then asked what chore she could do around the store, as part of her punishment for stealing. He told me that she didn't need to, she's so young. I then asked to speak to someone who has kids and knows what I'm talking about. He sent us over to the produce section. This is what I'm talking about. He had her help sweep up onion shells in the back room and help pick up produce that had fallen on the ground. He then had a long talk with her about stealing and how the store deals with people stealing and how she can get in big trouble. Nice.

After she was done with helping him clean up the produce area, I told her there was something else that I wanted her to do. We went and got a bag and picked up every single piece of trash on the floors in the whole store. It was a great teaching moment and she is SCARED to death to ever steal again. We had a good talk on the way home. I hugged and kissed her that night and felt so good about the lesson I was able to teach her.

Multiple people who heard this story, thought I was too harsh. Everyone parents differently and I get that she's "only 4" as people put it, but why does she have to be older to teach her that stealing is not acceptable? Make it easy once and they'll keep thinking they can do it and that there will be no consequences and by then it has turned into something much worse.

I love Chloee. She tells all of her friends about how bad stealing is. It warms my heart, I got through to her that day. Oh and she was also banned from gum for a long time and the first time she could have gum again, she got it in her hair. She chews on her hair and when you have gum in your mouth, it's not a good combination. I had to cut some of her hair because I couldn't get it out. Oh the joys of parenthood.

Did I mention that I hate gum?