Why Did I Bother Waking Up???

THIS WAS AN EMAIL I SENT JOSH:


Oh my, has it been one rough morning? Those words seem like child's play compared to my hellacious morning. Yes, hellacious is a word, I just made it up.

It all started when I had to wake the girls up for school. That is always a perfect way of knowing the morning is going to go off with a thousand hitches. Oh it was torture.

Let me first say that Chloee is omitted from this rant and rave of an email because she was a little saint this morning and looked positively gorgeous in her new coat....

Now let's focus our attention on Halle. She refused to get out of bed, screamed and yelled, refused to go to the bathroom, more screaming and yelling. "I'm going to go at Sissy's school. I hate our potty. It's stupid and not little" She is screaming at the top of her lungs at this point. I pick her up and put her on the toilet during her tirade, she pees on me. Fabulous! She is now screaming because she is wet and mad. I attempt to get her dressed. "No, I want this shirt, I want this skirt, I hate that shirt, it doesn't match, you're so mean, I want to be naked!" She claws my face a bit and we have words. She refuses to wear tights, I pin her down and make her wear them, we are on her 5th outfit after all.

She then decides that she doesn't want Chloee to wear a yellow shirt, Chloee must change and wear a pink one. I tell her no, she screams and starts throwing things. I have her put her shoes on, she refuses to wear those shoes and throws them down the stairs and starts pulling Chloee's hair. I pick her up, spat her butt, try not to maim her and put her in her room. She throws everything around in there while I am doing Chloee's hair. She comes out and yells at me that I can't put Sissy's hair in a braid, she wants it in a ponytail and tries to undo what I am doing. I pick her up and clinch my tongue and shove her back in her room. We are already late at this point.

I get Chloee done and have to hurry and change into levi's so I don't embarrass Chloee at school. Of course Halle doesn't want me in those pants, she wants me in my sweats, bring on the fit.... I'm breathing into my hands at this point, trying to calm my heart rate down and the fact that I want to throw Halle in the snow. I kick her out of my room so I can have a moment to try and pull it together. I come downstairs and she sprayed everything with the water sprayer for Chloee's hair. She is screaming because she is Halle and that is evidently ALL she can do. I try to put a coat on her, not happening. She swings a punch at me and I block it, she screams some more. At this point, I'm wishing I had been born deaf.

I rip her coat off and tell her to freeze. She says she has to have her green glasses. I don't even know what she is talking about. She throws herself to the ground, hits her head on the tile. I have no remorse. I pick her up and shake her in the air and ask her, "What's the matter with you?" all the while, biting down on my tongue. Chloee then asks me if I am going to hurt Halle. No, I say, thinking other things in my head. She goes back to the glasses. I pick her up like a football, shove her in her carseat, hold her down to strap her in and drive to the school. Chloee is already 10 minutes late. Halle refuses to get out of the car. I once again, do the football hold and she is screaming at the top of her lungs the whole way in the school.

I check Chloee in late and myself as a volunteer. Halle throws a tantrum about how she wants a sticker. The exact same one from last time, wasn't there this time. Meltdown occurs. I tell Chloee to go to class. I can't take Halle in until she stops screaming. That is not happening. Heart rate sky rockets and I start breathing into hands again. Get in there, we are 10 minutes late for skill sets. I try to get started and Halle won't NOT sit on my lap, she'll scream if I move her. She rips a kids skill set, uses all of the stickers for the pass off sheet, breaks a pencil in half and of course, demands that she get to go to the bathroom. She just loves those little potties. I'm already crunched for time before they have to leave for gym because I was late. I go over to take her fast and I open the door and there's Hailey, sitting on the toilet, door not locked. Ugh, I haul her into the boys bathroom. There's crap everywhere, literally... poop on the seat, the toilet paper, the sink and don't even get me started on the shear about of piss I am standing in because NO ONE can aim. It stinks so bad that I open the door to get some fresh air while Halle is doing her "business" aka, just sitting there loving that she's sitting on a tiny potty and not putting a drop of anything in it. I come back in to help Halle pull up her pants and the smell is so bad, I actually THROW UP in the garbage can. Oh, it was awful. I threw up so hard and so much that my stomach muscles were in so much pain from so much retching. I come out and try not to pummel the next child.

Halle then rips the sheet of paper I keep track of what they have passed off and she screams again. Mrs. Thurgood informs me that we have ran out of time and I haven't even gotten through half the stack. She said she'll just have to do them when they get back from gym. I could tell she was annoyed with me. I kind of wanted to punch her. I tried to put everything back together and I walked out feeling defeated and alone and it was only 9:30 in the morning. I put Halle in the car, drove home, got back in my sweats, put on Garfield, looked around at the mess and said, "Not today" So if you come home and the house is trashed and I'm on the brink of total insanity, you will know why, a lot happened in an hour and a half and I'm already beat, worn and tattered for the day.

Love, Me