Memorial Day Weekend

On Saturday we went down to the Hogle Zoo with some friends. It started out sunny and warm, then in the middle it started to rain and it got cold. It went back and forth quite a bit. A lot of the exhibits are closed because they are building new areas and they had to shut down the old ones. The zoo always seemed so much bigger to me when I was a kid.

Of course Halle fell asleep on the way down. Not a long nap = super ornery Halle. That was fun.

Our car is already a pig sty. We really should just eat all 3 meals and snacks in the car, it already looks like we do. We will DEFINITELY get our money's worth when we get it detailed.

The girls got new hats.

Why is every kid fascinated with that big ball in water right when you go in? Weird.

They have a dinosaur exhibit going on right now. Some of the dinosaurs spit water out at you. The kids loved that.

I remember this drinking fountain from way back when I was a youngster, going to the zoo.

You gotta love Nate in the background taunting Halle.

These pants ARE for girls. I know she kind of looks like a boy in this outfit. It doesn't help that she won't let me do anything with her hair. Josh loves this combination.

Chloee with her real mother.

On Sunday, we went up to my parents' house for dinner and to go visit Micheal's grave for Memorial Day. We wanted to be back home on Monday to do yard work. That didn't end up panning out, the weather was horrible and rainy the whole day. My parents woke up with SNOW!!!

Josh made this flag with the girls when we got back from church. I laid down upstairs to try and get my headache to go away. They cut out the pieces of construction paper and then wrote all the of the things they are grateful for. Chloee did the stars.

We all wrote a message on the back to Micheal. When we got to my parents' house, I laminated it with packing tape. It looked so good. We didn't get up to Micheal's grave until 11 pm, on our way back home. We didn't get home until midnight. We just can't stop talking when we get together as a family.

Here Josh is putting the flag in by Micheal's grave.

I am so grateful for the freedoms that we enjoy. I am so grateful for those who have given their lives. I am so grateful for the families of the loved ones who have passed on, for their sacrifice as well. I love Micheal and I have a deeper appreciation for what the men and women of our Armed Forces do and for the sacrifices they make every single day.

I miss Micheal. I know that is written a lot on my blog but it is so heart wrenchingly painful sometimes. I saw a man in Walmart the other day. I was behind him and he had on khaki cargo shorts a black hoodie, Chaco sandals and short hair. The man had the same build as Micheal, he even walked like Micheal. I stood there and for a split second I honestly thought it was him. He turned around and as he did, I thought to myself, "Ok, there is no way his face looks like Micheal's, I'll feel better." Sure enough, he did look like Micheal with a few different features.

I stood there, frozen. My heart skipped a few beats as I wanted to race up to him and hug him. Tears streamed down my face as I stood there thinking I was staring at a ghost. It was uncontrollable. I couldn't stop staring at him. It was like I was dreaming. The man soon realized that I was staring at him and crying. He grabbed his wife, they both looked back at me and I still couldn't stop looking at him. He kept looking back at me as he was scurrying to get away from the crazy freak show who was crying and staring at him. I stood there and felt as though God had just played a very mean joke on me.

I will never be same. I can never look at the flag the same way. I cannot sing the nation anthem and not be moved by the pain of loss. I cannot sing 'My Country Tis of Thee' in church and not feel stinging tears well up in my eyes. I will never think of Independence Day as just a holiday. I am forever changed in ways that I cannot express. I am forever changed because of what happened in my life after Micheal died.

I am proud to be an American.

I bleed Red, White and Blue.