Last night Josh said we should do a roast for dinner tomorrow (meaning today). I thought oh good, easy enough. He wanted to do it with Coke. Of course we don't have any, it was late last night, I just said that I'd get some in the morning before I put the roast in the crock pot. If only it had truly been that simple.
It already started out a bad morning. Halle was screaming, Chloee was teasing her and I was wasted. I remembered at about 9 am that my visiting teachers were coming at 10. Crap!!! I hurried and threw Halle in the car. She's screaming, I'm trying to find Chloee, she's crying because she can't find her shoes. I told her just to put the flip flops on, she's not getting out of the car anyway. One was white and one was brown, I swear she's color blind. I'm still in my pajama pants, which are SUPER bright, I have my glasses on, no bra no makeup, a jacket and hair like I just woke up... oh yes and I couldn't find my shoes ANYWHERE and my girls were crying in the car so I just put on my high heels from church, they were the only things I could find, plus I wasn't planning on going into a store, so I didn't care.
My plan was to drive up to one of those pop machines on the outside of a grocery store, park right up there next to it, hop out and get one. I drive to Albertson's, only a Pepsi machine. Crap!!! I start driving through the complexes over there looking everywhere. Not a one. I drive past Wal-Mart and see that right there on the inside in the front were some machines. Yeah! I wasn't planning on getting out of the car and into a store because of the way I looked and I didn't want to unbuckle the girls.
After a long debate, I decided to just hurry and go, maybe no one would see me where I wasn't actually going INSIDE the store. I haul the girls out and you can hear the high heels clanking on the ground. Oh, I finally get in there and dig out some change, put it in, push for Coke, out comes Sprite. WHAT!!!??? You've got to be kidding me!!! I run over to the girl at the front that greets you and I told her that I pushed for a Coke but got a Sprite. She said, "Well, you'll have to go talk to Customer Service about getting a refund." I looked at her and said, "I can't go in the store looking like THIS!" Awhhh! I went back and scrounged up another .75 cents and put it in, pushed the Coke button below that one. Surely, they couldn't both be screwed up, right? WRONG.... Another Sprite came out! After a few choice words and throwing my hands up in the air, I sat down and started to hyperventilate.
Finally, I just went in the store to just go through the check-out and buy a stupid bottle at the stand there. Of course because it is so early in the morning and I wasn't on the grocery side, there is only 1 lane open at that end. There were 7 people in line. I wanted to die. Oh yes and also, people everywhere are staring at me. You can hear that I'm in heels and the flashy pants didn't help me any. I was mortified. I wouldn't be surprised if I see myself in one of those Wal-Mart emails that go around with pictures of the white trash in Wal-Mart.
I'm standing there in line and this lady in front of me keeps turning back and glancing at me. She probably did it about 3 times before this conversation broke out:
Then we both just laughed and people still stared at me the whole way out. No joke, I felt like I had a big sign on my head that said, "Please stare at me, if you do, I'll give you a million dollars!". A lesson learned today, NEVER leave your house thinking that you don't care what you look like because you're not actually going to go inside a store or that you won't see anyone you know! It will happen, Murphy will hunt you down and embarrass you somehow! What a day and that was all before 10 am.
Here's a picture
It already started out a bad morning. Halle was screaming, Chloee was teasing her and I was wasted. I remembered at about 9 am that my visiting teachers were coming at 10. Crap!!! I hurried and threw Halle in the car. She's screaming, I'm trying to find Chloee, she's crying because she can't find her shoes. I told her just to put the flip flops on, she's not getting out of the car anyway. One was white and one was brown, I swear she's color blind. I'm still in my pajama pants, which are SUPER bright, I have my glasses on, no bra no makeup, a jacket and hair like I just woke up... oh yes and I couldn't find my shoes ANYWHERE and my girls were crying in the car so I just put on my high heels from church, they were the only things I could find, plus I wasn't planning on going into a store, so I didn't care.
My plan was to drive up to one of those pop machines on the outside of a grocery store, park right up there next to it, hop out and get one. I drive to Albertson's, only a Pepsi machine. Crap!!! I start driving through the complexes over there looking everywhere. Not a one. I drive past Wal-Mart and see that right there on the inside in the front were some machines. Yeah! I wasn't planning on getting out of the car and into a store because of the way I looked and I didn't want to unbuckle the girls.
After a long debate, I decided to just hurry and go, maybe no one would see me where I wasn't actually going INSIDE the store. I haul the girls out and you can hear the high heels clanking on the ground. Oh, I finally get in there and dig out some change, put it in, push for Coke, out comes Sprite. WHAT!!!??? You've got to be kidding me!!! I run over to the girl at the front that greets you and I told her that I pushed for a Coke but got a Sprite. She said, "Well, you'll have to go talk to Customer Service about getting a refund." I looked at her and said, "I can't go in the store looking like THIS!" Awhhh! I went back and scrounged up another .75 cents and put it in, pushed the Coke button below that one. Surely, they couldn't both be screwed up, right? WRONG.... Another Sprite came out! After a few choice words and throwing my hands up in the air, I sat down and started to hyperventilate.
Finally, I just went in the store to just go through the check-out and buy a stupid bottle at the stand there. Of course because it is so early in the morning and I wasn't on the grocery side, there is only 1 lane open at that end. There were 7 people in line. I wanted to die. Oh yes and also, people everywhere are staring at me. You can hear that I'm in heels and the flashy pants didn't help me any. I was mortified. I wouldn't be surprised if I see myself in one of those Wal-Mart emails that go around with pictures of the white trash in Wal-Mart.
I'm standing there in line and this lady in front of me keeps turning back and glancing at me. She probably did it about 3 times before this conversation broke out:
Me: "Are you looking at me thinking I am such white trash because of my clothes?"
Her: "Uhhhh no, I was just looking at how comfortable you look."
Me: "I don't normally dress like this, I was planning on just hopping out fast and buying a coke, but everything seems to go wrong when I leave my house. I'm in heels for crying out loud! I couldn't find my shoes."
Her: "I thought you looked super comfy, then I saw your heels and thought... WHAT?"
Her: "Uhhhh no, I was just looking at how comfortable you look."
Me: "I don't normally dress like this, I was planning on just hopping out fast and buying a coke, but everything seems to go wrong when I leave my house. I'm in heels for crying out loud! I couldn't find my shoes."
Her: "I thought you looked super comfy, then I saw your heels and thought... WHAT?"
Then we both just laughed and people still stared at me the whole way out. No joke, I felt like I had a big sign on my head that said, "Please stare at me, if you do, I'll give you a million dollars!". A lesson learned today, NEVER leave your house thinking that you don't care what you look like because you're not actually going to go inside a store or that you won't see anyone you know! It will happen, Murphy will hunt you down and embarrass you somehow! What a day and that was all before 10 am.
Here's a picture
9 comments:
Now that I've picked myself up off the floor, I must tell you how much you made my day!!! That is the most hilarious post! I think it is totally styling! At least the lady in line had a good laugh with you. I wish I could have been there with you... only I would have been your twin!! I gotta say, I do LOVE the pants/heels combo. Stupid Murphy, how do we get rid of her/him?
Thanks for a good laugh!
Your life is kind of like the story of my life. All those people who look so put together? What's wrong with them? I like people who wear striped pants to Wal-Mart with heels.
That is SO hilarious, Kim! I love your stories...
THose pants are awesome!!!! You are going to set a new fashion trend.
Love Annie
The bad part is that I go to the store knowing that I am wearing my pajama pants and not caring :( That was a hilarious post. I'm so glad you have the picture to prove it! That's so crazy about the pop machine!! It's like they ran out of Coke or something. Have you ever tried RootBeer chicken, it's good :)
Hilarious!! I hope the roast was good!
So funny!!! At least your heels are way cute!
Kim, I don't even think I have to say anything on this one.
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